Unlearning the Myths of Child Development

Somewhere along the way, developmental milestones became checklists. We began to measure learning by how early a child could read, how long they could sit, or how quiet they could be in a group setting. But much of what we’ve accepted as “normal” or “necessary” for healthy development… isn’t supported by developmental science. And more importantly, it isn’t attuned to the lived experience of a child’s body.

Let’s explore a few common myths—and the truths that live beneath them.

Myth 1: Children Should Sit Still to Learn

Stillness is often mistaken for focus. But for many children, stillness signals disconnection, not engagement.

The ability to sit, attend, and absorb information comes after a child feels regulated and safe in their body. Movement is a core part of sensory integration and brain development. When we ask children to suppress this, we’re often asking them to override the very systems that help them learn.

What’s more supportive: offering flexible movement, incorporating somatic transitions between activities, and recognizing that a wiggly body is often a working and learning body.

Myth 2: Early Readers Are Smarter

Reading is often used as a benchmark for academic “giftedness.” But what we rarely say out loud is that reading readiness is neurological and developmental, not just cognitive.

Some children are ready to decode language by the age of four. Others are ready at seven or eight. And yet, both are capable, intelligent, deeply perceptive learners.

Pushing reading too early can backfire, causing frustration, shame, and disconnection from learning as a joyful process.

What’s more supportive: Focusing on rich language exposure, storytelling, conversation, and letting reading emerge at the pace of safety and readiness.

Myth 3: Good Behavior = Quiet and Compliant

We’ve been conditioned to praise children who are quiet, still, and agreeable. But is that truly “good” behavior, or is it simply easy for adults?

True regulation doesn’t mean a child never cries, shouts, resists, or moves. It means they are supported in expressing emotion safely and gently guided as they learn self-awareness and co-regulation.

What’s more supportive: Creating environments where children can express their full range of emotions without being shamed, silenced, or labeled as “bad.”

Myth 4: Kids Must Focus Before They Can Move

This one gets it completely backward. Movement isn’t a reward for focus—it’s the prerequisite.

From infancy through adolescence, the brain organizes itself through physical interaction with the world. Climbing, spinning, crawling, dancing—all of it wires the brain for later skills like focus, memory, literacy, and impulse control.

What’s more supportive: Weaving movement into every aspect of the day—transitions, storytelling, math games, sensory breaks. The body is the classroom.

What We Know Now

Development doesn’t happen in neat, linear timelines.
Regulation doesn’t look the same for every child.
Stillness doesn’t equal success.
And learning doesn't require fear, performance, or pressure.

It requires safety.
It requires attunement.
It requires time.

At Somatically Rooted, we are committed to unlearning these outdated myths and replacing them with practices that are informed by nervous system science, child development, and deep respect for each child’s unique journey.

Let’s Redefine What Growth Looks Like

If we want to raise whole, healthy humans, we must stop rewarding performance at the expense of presence. Let’s create learning spaces where movement is not misbehavior, emotion is not weakness, and curiosity is not confined to a desk.

Let’s raise children who feel safe enough to learn, brave enough to explore, and supported enough to be their true selves.

This is what education can be when it’s rooted in the body.